The Eulogy for My Will

The Eulogy for My Will

According to the pulse from my heart, I am alive, but dead to the world I feel…yet…I…. I cannot feel remorse for those who waste their lives on redundant retrospect. I expect the ignorant to understand and the sane to overstand! The eulogy meant for me...I tame the thought of regret...May you allow my living testament resound longer than my dying words...may you allow my present existence be what you think of when you ponder my departure, do not concentrate solely on lost time rather than find that clock on the wall we so effortlessly overlook we took for granted...don’t profit from my demise...stay humble in my death...stay in the line of my faith...In my absence, the love that resides in the breast of you, save for me what is left of you.  Stay wise for the earth will still revolve and life will endure through its ageless progressions. The thought of being an afterthought never bothers me, but what would you think after me? Is what lies in the puddle of questions drenched in sorrowful tears. Remain the same, grow as a plant would, resemble the stem from which you came, stay wise… as wood. In the grammar of love, never plagiarize or fabricate your truth…live what you speak and speak what you live…respect all that is genuine and disregard the façade…My eulogy for my will…

The Glare of the Moon

I gathered my thoughts today as if they were yesterday’s pain, I comfort the melancholy soul that consoles me, I stare at the moon glare as it stares, how glassy eyed my vision becomes, I think backwards of yesteryear, today I felt a labor below the bellows of my womb. I rock the cradle to a tune far from the steps of my music….the night is still, the mood is chill, the wind is sound, and there is no one else around but you and I. I promise the mist of the moon shine will guide you to the heart of man…soon and once again…

My Conversation With Success

I had a conversation with success the other day, I must say it was one of the most honest conversations I ever had with anyone.

It was quite the opposite from what you may think a conversation with success may go. “Why do you think you are unsuccessful?” success asked me, I just shrugged my shoulders as an adolescent child getting lectured by his parents would.

He asked me “would I want to be famous?” where everyone knows your name, and fame is like a drug, the high is insane. The famous air that you sniff is the now the same air that makes you twitch for that fix of flashing lights and late nights out, forgetting everyone that ever believed in YOU, before you ever believed in yourself.

“But the wealth is what you want right?” Success asked me, you seem eager to be something you never thought in your wildest dreams you would become. See success in its outcome, the income never pays for the life you left behind. You may want success, but once you get it, what will you do to make lives better?

But Success never stopped Denzel for giving back to the boys and girls of the world, it never stopped, Oprah for being The Santa Claus that happens to wear bras, success shouldn’t stop with you, nor should it end with what you do.

They say Michael Jordan never did shit for the black community…yet It never stops us from buying his shoes that we use to run from cops, jump fences, kick down doors, step on our sisters. $200 dollars never seemed to meaningful in such a brainless act, in fact, the fact is, we never played the game, never practiced…so why blame Mike? Why not Spike…I mean he did direct Do the Right Thing, She’s Gotta have it, He got game. He had sex scenes that would fog any bathroom mirror, shit I seen my set of tits in one of those flicks.

But the point is this, everyone is a critic, everyone depicts and fears the unknown the subjective, we fear the anomaly, but we praise what’s already been done. I replied to Success with a simple question… “When do you know when you have been successful?” Success chuckled with a grin…the answer lies within the question…I looked away for one second…Success…was gone.

We Were Butterflies

We were butterflies in the haze of May, we were butterflies in the noon of June…we…would…soar so high we would decorate the skies with our fluorescent colors. You and I were the same and never seemed to care or show shame… We…were…butterflies. You captured my thoughts with similar colloquialisms that had my mind and soul at…hello. We…were…butterflies, the sweet nectar of maple scents my senses, I cannot clutch such a feeling, but dare me and I shall try…we…were…butterflies.  We travelled the distance of co-existence and what we built from a cocoon is something far more magical than love transformed into rose pedals of nothingness. Something far more romantic than a princess trapped in a castle, awaiting her prince or pauper to rescue her with a kiss of gallantry.  Yes indeed you were meant for me, better yet we were meant for this moment that we fly into the fields that plays our silhouette, we were meant to fly into the blue ocean tides that we call our personal sky…we lived this life once…as BUTTERFLIES.

The Free Verse Truth of The Bi-Polar Schizophrenic

Perhaps my Honesty is too much for the ears of the ignorant; perhaps my insight scares you to ever show what you hide. I may never be able to reside on the island of silence or swim in the waters of the overlooked eels ever again…naw not at all,  you see it goes a bit deeper in the depths of me, just me sitting, awkward lil one, silent, walked wit a bit of hunch to match his strut. You could spot me from a mile away, dare I spare a moment to stray away from what I came to say. The feelings I have, bares a soul, my soul bares the voice from which I hinder it to ever speak what I truly feel. You scream vehemently that you NEED ME…but will you bleed for me…you speak with notion of devotion, you speak ever so often of emotion, yet I am here only to believe in YOU! A brother that I once knew, a BROTHER I once thought to have, A BROTHER I thought I COULD look up to…LOOKED up to me instead. Your worthless words plead for forgiveness but your malignant eyes tell me otherwise. Never was taught to fight, BUT I never had to take an ASSwhoopin to teach me otherwise, thankfully POP was there to teach me how to show assholes the cold shoulder of humility and civility………………………. The nerve to ever hold back feelings of disenchantment, you see you missed out on a good thing…the day I broke down cause you weren’t around, left me crazy you did, a walking OXY-moron, and so on, I am ranting and raving, my wants and cravings, I was disengaged, caged in a world you governed, you left a MAN with a warm lust and COLD HEART! A MAN TORN APART FROM legs to limb, it’s crazy you CRY more, cause you realize you’re stuck with em’. Yet ranting and raving, my wants and my cravings, I have some fucking nerve to explain such honesty to the population that may never understand…but I say fuck IT for the person with A hoarse voice, I say fuck IT FOR the WOMAN without a will, the WOMAN left without a choice…I say FUCK it to those who ever had me…I say FUCK it to those who ever doubted me…but I digress more should I turn my attention to the MEN who give ME a BAD NAME… I struck a nerve with the PERV…WHOSE WAY to busy thinkin’ bout PUNS on BUSSIN’ grapenuts on mindless SL...BUT I digress...YOU SEE I struck a chord with lord...when he heard me say on my grandmothers dying day...F**K GO...I digress more what for you weren’t listening anyway…

Love Interlude

I’m torn in love...a divided entity, confuses the common sense in me. Maybe I am in need of an epiphany...how senseless can my senses be when I can feel you...but you cannot feel me? I rest my head upon the illusion that you refuse to  see me...but love has its ways of soliciting thoughts and provoking actions into what will satisfy ...I  cannot trust you as far as I can throw you...but to know you...is to love you...and to love you...I must show you

Alive i am

Spread the word throughout the skies, hummingbirds to bald eagles scream that I am alive. I am alive and well, I am dead to the world but I am alive…alive and well I am. Indeed, there is no need for a choir to harmonize over lost time, I am alive and well. The river from which I have cleansed my soul, from the sun where I have dried my tears, I am alive…alive and well I am. No need to fear mother, I have been down this road before, I have struggled only to stumble, I have been misled only to be led by confusion…yet I still remain humble, yet I still remain wise…while in my youth I have wasted time on dreams and wasted my days awake on the dreams that I have slept on. I died in my inception, only to be born again through your eyes of perception.  As you climb on your high horse, as you gallop, never losing stride, I want you to scream and wake all minds and eyes that are closed and asleep, SCREAM loud and proud that THE TRUTH IS ALIVE…IT IS ALIVE AND WELL!!!

Lucifer's LOVE SONG

You speak of ME in such high regard; YOU disregarded the impossible and made it possible. Our possibilities seemed endless, LOVE seemed to be what we thirst for; YOU only seemed to be replenished by the dehydration of heartaches and letdowns. I fumbled over the words of sweet nothings, which seemed to overflow your cup of emotions that I drank from repeatedly. The night is Silhouette and the tears from years and years of prolonging an era we never corrected…I stand beside the devil’s advocate and contemplate what if… The nights I drifted away, knowing you burned for me, yearning for the phone to sound a ring of vindication that I still care, that I would still be there in your nightly despair. Still you remained as faithful to something you never knew existed, but yet you still believed in me… yet I tricked you again and again, having fallen deeper and deeper into my lair of sadness. On nights that we lust and thrust after thrust, you trust in me more…I felt and less and lesser in LOVE with you…YET…YET…the clouds of erotic misery plays the symphony; it harps how much you actually meant to me. Was I living a lie? Could it be me that was indeed living in my own trickery…can’t be…my tears levitates me to a scene we played the part of two cosmic lovers. I serenade remnants of you…remembering when your heart poured out feelings from the cup we both shared… Now when I sing of you, the notes are off key, the pain just doesn’t feel the same, not a chord or nerve is struck. I am trapped inside of a LOVE song that has never been composed…only left to decompose in the hearts of many and never ever to be uttered from the mouths of any…yet you, you, you burn for me still.

November 3rd (Interlude)

A year older, a year wiser, no surprise that through these eyes, I can see beyond my potential, I can taste the wealth of serenity. I will grow as the tree of knowledge forbidden only to those who do not believe, I am conceived from a cloth that was sewed in the fabric of life and prosperity. I will awake from that American dream, and live with the BLACK POWER my father instilled in me. I will fly above the sky and swim in the ocean of love. I shall dance amongst the stars, I will dine on the moonlight of my plight, for this is the night that I will…for this is the night I will be in touch with my DREAMS.

ASS to the WORLD

Feet cemented to the ground, heh never thought I’d be as high as I am right now.

To shameful to stand proud, to stoic to stand heroic. The glances from the frame of

an hour shaped glass paints the picture well. Yet allow me to show my ASS to the world,

Yes allow me to gloat over your pitiful hope; you see it pleasures me immensely to stare at your envy, allowing me to proceed through your struggle. This indeed is sweet bliss of satisfaction, the gratification you may never smell a stench as pungent as this… I convey unto this day, my ASS indeed is shown to the world with great measure, (clearing throat) it gives me great pleasure to introduce, someone so bold, someone who tells it like it is, someone who is exactly what they say they are… Nose so high in the air, I can smell the rancid precipitation seeping through the clouds, the crowd waits in anticipation. The ASS you praise, was the same ASS you gave multiple chances to…has just SHITTED on your world!

Thank You!