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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Dream Chaser

I'm tired of running...I'm tired of the fatigue that plagues my knees; I'm tired of the stress that chases me down tirelessly. I'm tired of trying to create something you may never understand. I'm tired of running, I tried walking, but all they ever said was...walk faster... Can't keep running away is what they screamed from the pharcyde. But my soul and body has succumbed to their battle of separation like apartheid. I’m tired of hiding my one true self, cause in the end you were born alone...and caskets don't come in twin sizes.  I have been running for so long I forgot what I was running to... This chase I can no longer keep up...my heart is fading, pulse is pacing, time is racing, I look up and its dark out...the moon shines on the cracked roads that I left behind. I keep running...I will keep running till what is incomplete, completes my voided soul. I will continue to plead to the heavens that I am to be salvaged for the forgiven rather than for the forgotten. For some reason I live with my eyes closed and l sleep with eyes wide shut…not a peep from me, I can’t see behind the shades of these dark eyelids. I am steadily living through dreams…that I am steadily running from at the same time.

Monday, January 30, 2012

The Masturbator

I'm steady dreaming of a better way, never taking the careful steps to success, never realizing the process in progress. My life I master bated, my tomorrows I procrastinated. Never gave chance a chance to fully appreciate the downfall of a pitfall, I find the positive connotation in deFEAT. I can lie to myself and say I will never die, but try and live falsely and see the costly results in the outcome of what you encompass, my promise to life is never take advantage, my promise to death is sleep peaceful and happily without regret, my promise to my children is to always live for the day and promise for tomorrows grace. But im a steady dreamer, pacing my thoughts, hoping that they can catch up with my recent ambitions. Im a constant masturbator, steady f**king myself, leading a naïve, lazy self to believe that I can achieve…NOTHING. Im a consistent procrastinator, I plan for tomorrow…only to plan…to plan.  I can never, will I ever be able to understand my steady, dreamin’, masturbatin’, procrastinatin’, lazy, naïve, self. When I awake the climax is gone, when I am done, I am left with nothing accomplished, just ideas and voices speaking to the shadows of my whispers…

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Midnight Visit (Interlude)

I revisited the memories we left behind on the pillows we rest our dreams. Yes we let them lie…YES WE LET THEM LIE TO US. The ways in which you made me feel revealed to me that love WAS REAL, LOVE was within our grasp. I am the pawn that is drawn upon your next move that rapidly conceals me and REVEALS me at the very same time, it takes these emotions that I convey with every teardrop that, that, that (sniffles) that breaks the tissues and issues that we left behind... just as my cry which resonates your eardrum, you make yourself believe that can’t be another one of my unexplainable conundrums you hesitate to LOVE me...WHY?...I WAS YOUR SAFE DISTANCE, THAT WAS STILL AT AN ARMS LENGTH OF YOU… But I remain ready to subdue to the authenticity of you, BUT will you, can you, help me try to fly past through the fog in your sky, for I am simply a tourist dwelling the city by the nectars of your soul, I am merely an artist painting such adoration to a canvas that bares a window to your heart…I am revisiting my past at last.

Monday, January 23, 2012

For Ossie and Ruby (The Reprise of Modern Matrimony)

Dedicated to People, In Touch, and all these magazines that tell us about who and who not to marry, I dedicate this to the non-believers and love haters. The depths of our lives has gotten a bit crazy, FACE IT YOUR LOVE LIFE WILL BE LIKE A BEYONCE OR JAY-Z. We tend to mount our love life on others martial catastrophes. Marriages don't last like they used to...people are way too busy into what's new rather than rekindling the flame of newness. Till death do us part right!? Fight or flight...tedious arguments sings songs of who's wrong, who’s right? They used to say it was cheaper to keep her! Now it's easier to please her and leave her for another deceiver to receive her. We substitute the reality of others as ours now ...crazy truth is we know what the TRUTH is...we just live off ignorance and portray it as love and bliss...but the truth is...we missed it. Love can't be defined as KIM KARDASHIAN AND KRIS HUMPHRIES would have it...the static makes me question the fabric we cover up our lives in. It doesn't hurt  to say this...OSSIE DAVIS AND RUBY DEE there love did it for me, they made me believe in a substance I couldn’t see rather than something I could conceive…(inhale-exhale)breathe once again...in the blessing of love and the meaning of "till death do US part". An idea society has ran away from. Naw they don't survive the times no more it seems every other day this one is divorcing that one, Tina asked what's love got to do with it. My reply is simply it was left out without a doubt of truth or denial. Chivalry never died…it resides in the hearts of many, but some are too stubborn to realize they have that rhythmic instrument that harps sounds of love and compassion. The task to share a hand in a lifetime commitment may come off as a bit daunting, haunting even; they simply don’t make em like Ossie and Ruby anymore. I hope Barack and Michelle do well, the chance at love though attempted can’t be revered on a reality screen, it’s a bit more truculent alil less serene  I wish to see more marriages last as long as the lives in between the dashes do. Till death do us part…THIS I know to be true… well at least to me…Just LOOK at Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Theory of Right and Wrong

The Theory of Right and Wrong

To do what is right I must think of wrong as it has always thought of me. The methods to my madness, the somber in my sadness has brought out the ray of sun in my smile. Dare walk a mile in the shoes I bare, spare time in the life I share…think of me as wrong as I ponder what is right. I will be just a mere figment of my own imagination, while I am asleep, sound and resounded in the air of clouds and fog. I walk the path of right and wrong; I glance at chance and see the soothsayer of the far path of random thought…ahh the thought of the random, allow them to scurry in a hurry while in the twilight of their night. The patience of apathy captures me…the clueless foundation that is found, I surround myself with all that is wrong, but I choose to disregard it, in the midst of what RIGHT is, my might won’t allow me to succumb to the refuge of your veraciousness. Do I, can I, and was it RIGHT to be LEFT behind a culture that shuns the theory of right and wrong…or was it wrong to be right in theory…

Endangered Rose

You said that you are alive...YET you ARE still dying inside.

Uncle Sam said I casSELL my soul for fortune and fame...just a couple of dollars never added up to the change that you gave to birth name...just for the privilege to wear societies chain. I remembered from whence I came and let go of foolish acts and reacted to the proactive outbreaks in the midst of the streets! Indeed a rose grew from that there concrete... The rough edges around the fallen pedals left you there to stare in awe and pity...But why pity such a thing you barely know or fail to understand. I dare you to try...although I am endangered... A species not from this world... I am human ain't I ?and like you I have flaws don't I ? I am still what I am given the atrocity of society and burden it has bestowed on me!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

My List Of Regrets

I write with a list of regrets...I walk in faith without ever missing a step. I'm a believer that you are the author to your life novel...I write inscribe of my life's mishaps and wish they never did happen, way back when I had a heart that would throb and often sob at the sight of misery. I visit the confessional with my list of regrets...I regret  having to use the words that utter remorse. I go to bed with list of regrets, hoping that they let me sleep well,hoping there are no morning wake up calls to remind me of what I tried to leave behind...I bathe in my list of regrets, soaking in my remorse, rinsing away all the emotional residue that fogs my mind...I live with my list of regrets...praying that one day they will be undone.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Missing You...

Did you miss me...so often I think the world forgets me... So often I forget to be me...I hope you don't regret me...my actions at times whispers as my words resonates volumes of me missing you...how could a feeling be so invisible yet it still sees me. Too many times I have left what's right wrong...Allowing the weak soul within me to hold me captive against the feelings I hold true...for if missing you is a crime...I am aligned to do time for the innocence of love and it's treachery...as the world is sound asleep I am awake...missing you!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Hometown Symphony

I feel like a stranger in these estranged streets I once called home. I roam alone now, no crews to hold me down, far from a far cry of a rap sing along of the “hood I once called home”. I roam alone now, friends, crews I used to claim don’t remember me. I rekindle the light on my candle of memories.  I often wondered outside these barred project windows, would I ever leave ”tha hood”, wondering can I be that 1% they speak of… in my hometown dead bodies were found, in my hometown babies are having babies.  The night sings symphonies of the hustle, hoop dreams, the night shift while Ms. Mary’s son sells china white down the street of the turnpike; Ms. Angie’s daughter hangs with marijuana. The back stair cases, front post hang out spots. In my hometown, the youth lost their value in respect and the meaning of appreciation. Yet some parts of me wants to give back, some parts of me wants to rehash on the lost handshakes, broken pavements I walked on…but it’s that uncontrollable force that holds me back from where I need to be…in my hometown I am forgotten…but I rather it that I way…in my hometown I was lost in a world that never found me, I had to find myself…and that is why my hometown is a forgotten memory…

 Write to Make it Right!

The Universal Resolution

Another ball is bound to drop another chance at life as we know it… again. I always tend to think of the New Year as it presents itself to me…a new year.  The lights are at its brightest to bring one day out the New Year. But what old problems will you bring into the New Year? Is it the fear to tap into your unfiltered potential?  You see I bottled up my fears and canceled failed shows of foes and there misfortunes.  The grace in space and time where I can rekindle my thoughts with a just one touch.  But there are a few lessons that I have learned through this year... I have learned through concentration and dedication on your goals, only you can hold yourself back…I have gained a true appreciation for life and its privileges. I wish to no more become a dope fiend for the previous memories, I wish to bathe in a tub of amnesia…I wish to see the faults in my mistakes as I recognize the triumphs in my accidents.  This past year has taught me a lesson in life, a lesson in struggle; it has taught me how to handle success with the pressure of failure. If to fail is to try and to try is fail…what lies in the middle is perseverance. My vow to the New Year…I am ready to fail, I am ready to fall just as clock strikes twelve and the dropping of the ball.

Write to Make it Right!