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Monday, October 29, 2012

The Morning After(Excerpt From First Non Poetic Novel) The Penis Diaries

The Morning After
The morning after sex it’s the best worst feeling that a man could have, although I couldn’t believe what I just done, she had to leave and there I stayed at the foot of the bed with lust and regrets in my head.  I stood up to shake off all sin and try to cleanse my face of remorse before I let the todays thoughts run its course on me. Thinking of how good she felt and how our time together was time based and I couldn’t even be awake to see her off, you see this situation gets more and more complex. Awaiting your call from the morning rise to the night fall, I go about my day in a mental cloud, hoping that somehow you would shoot me down. Last night brought something out of us, that neither one of us could trust.  We don’t cuddle after we make love…or to have you tell it, “made sex”. I can only talk to you when you call me.  I go about my day with thoughts of you, friends counsel doesn’t seem to register to me. I realized that I fell in hopeless love instead.
I got a phone call in mid-day, my homeboy Brandon, he called to check on last night and thought he could get me to spill whatever beans of last night’s happenings. But I couldn’t tell em’ the way she felt to me, how her body felt like the comfort of a cool but warm bed in the middle of a cold wintry night to me naw, I couldn’t let em know she has my nose wide open, hoping with every inhale I can intake the same air she breathes. So like any man of false pride and integrity I sugar coated.  “So how was that box last night bro”? Brandon asked, with a cavalier reply I said “It was ight, nothing too crazy, it was a nut!” As I was explaining to Brandon about my night, I felt so inadequate and distraught at myself, knowingly lying, but when a man is realizing he is telling a lie….we continue on with telling a lie. So caught up in a daze of last night and keeping up with a lie, I continue to drift into thoughts of last night and how she made me feel…the real thing it can’t be, love  never visited me ever, cause you can’t one night stand love.  As my boy Brandon was explaining to me his endeavors of last night I heard a sound bit on my iPhone, I looked at it,  and saw last night probably wasn’t at all gone to memory, here she is texting me,  although I’m fresh out of a relationship that lasted all but 9months, it felt as though I invested 9 years.  I saw last night’s message it stated “Thinking about you”, now these types of words are Sade’s symphony to a man’s ear, makes a man’s third leg stretch.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Cry GOODbye

I CRIED LIKE A BABY WHEN YOU LEFT, I sobbed by the window as my tears stained the pane.  The little boy in me never left you see, it simply enabled me to shield that man inside that I never was able to be. I wiped my eyes with same hand that waved you goodbye, I sighed without reply…why? I ask the air, but I received no answer to comply with my inquisition.  I thought of moments, those vivid moments where you would have your heart near, your ears close and your mind at ease. I remember Tissues those issues, O’ what sob story they would sing, the phone that steadily phone, O’ how I love the ring.  I sing your name, I scream your existence hoping that my foolish persistence brings you closer…the minutes you are away feels like years and the hours and my mind won’t let go of time. You are everything I wanted and everything I ever v needed. I feel depleted by the neglect although in retrospect I have neglected all that I have ever known to be true…you never walked away from me…I turned my back and walked away from you.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Save Me
Save me…save that old me, save me from that ghost of doubt or that shroud of mystery.
I thought of you once…twice over I contemplated clouds of doubt…but then you saved me…the purpose
of being worthless, the seams thru my holey soul that you sown up.
 Grown up in the spirit of the light, in the midst of time I found reason in my rhyme,
You saved me, plagued with sin, but soon to find found serenity from within.
 Bathed in my misfortune, no one to blame…in the fog I still saw a ray of light…in flight of the highest of
highs you saved me and I don’t know why…