28
Years Later (Troubled Man)
In the midst of this poem…I will
pray for those whom I affected. I will pray for those whom I didn't have the
courage to protect. I will pray for those whom I have yet found the pride to
forgive! I imagine this poem would be taken as a blind man painting a picture
of a lost child, but imagine a boy who takes advantage of such privilege of
sight but chooses to live blindly, one who takes the brightness of the sun to
remind him that he…is…alive. 28 years to this day, a boy was born to the world…momma
says if it weren't for her miscarriage I wouldn't be here. You see she lost
what would have been a boy, her lost joy, the one she never got to enjoy! You see
then I came along November 3rd a gift my parents thought would never
come to be…I vaguely remember my childhood…but the memories that do come to
mind were the full house of children my mother and father help raise, all too
often I would find empty cereal boxes on top of the refrigerator that always
seemed to be covered in dried up corn oil. I remember my mother holding my hand
as we would walk across the street...I remember…when I saw the world as candy
land…ninja turtles were my thing back then…I barely survived my teenage years I
spelled love…LUV not knowing the difference or meaning until later in life .
not thinking of a wife that I would later marry…but when I do think of hearts
that I have broken, residue of wounds of holes left in like old tokens…I think
of you…I never understood the reason for my heart to commit such treason…you
believed in what others couldn't understand…there I was a time where I fell in
love with you…But I immediately denied the feeling…then I left you…I left you
emotionally, not wanting to ever see you cry for me…but I did! I left you
physically…literally mind, body and soul…but you remained there… I stayed in fear…I wanted you near…I have you
here now…what do I do…I reach out to YOU I hug you…you say you feel nothing…anymore. Where
do I go now…? After you… I thought…I would sought to find another you…how true
to such journey I traveled to find another you…but to no avail…I could not. I realize
I am not susceptible to change…I'm slowly rebuilding my remorse...allowing my
nature to nurture me and my wisdom to break me free from Life’s temptations. Although
my soul maybe translucent…my mind never strays from lucidity. My mind may be
free…but I am chained to truth that I am refrained to speak from the heart…I AM
BORN AGAIN.
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