Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Troubled Man


28 Years Later (Troubled Man)

In the midst of this poem…I will pray for those whom I affected. I will pray for those whom I didn't have the courage to protect. I will pray for those whom I have yet found the pride to forgive! I imagine this poem would be taken as a blind man painting a picture of a lost child, but imagine a boy who takes advantage of such privilege of sight but chooses to live blindly, one who takes the brightness of the sun to remind him that he…is…alive. 28 years to this day, a boy was born to the world…momma says if it weren't for her miscarriage I wouldn't be here. You see she lost what would have been a boy, her lost joy, the one she never got to enjoy! You see then I came along November 3rd a gift my parents thought would never come to be…I vaguely remember my childhood…but the memories that do come to mind were the full house of children my mother and father help raise, all too often I would find empty cereal boxes on top of the refrigerator that always seemed to be covered in dried up corn oil. I remember my mother holding my hand as we would walk across the street...I remember…when I saw the world as candy land…ninja turtles were my thing back then…I barely survived my teenage years I spelled love…LUV not knowing the difference or meaning until later in life . not thinking of a wife that I would later marry…but when I do think of hearts that I have broken, residue of wounds of holes left in like old tokens…I think of you…I never understood the reason for my heart to commit such treason…you believed in what others couldn't understand…there I was a time where I fell in love with you…But I immediately denied the feeling…then I left you…I left you emotionally, not wanting to ever see you cry for me…but I did! I left you physically…literally mind, body and soul…but you remained there…  I stayed in fear…I wanted you near…I have you here now…what do I do…I reach out to YOU I  hug you…you say you feel nothing…anymore. Where do I go now…? After you… I thought…I would sought to find another you…how true to such journey I traveled to find another you…but to no avail…I could not. I realize I am not susceptible to change…I'm slowly rebuilding my remorse...allowing my nature to nurture me and my wisdom to break me free from Life’s temptations. Although my soul maybe translucent…my mind never strays from lucidity. My mind may be free…but I am chained to truth that I am refrained to speak from the heart…I AM BORN AGAIN.








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